I made this video playlist at myflashfetish.com
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Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Actually, I do not have high expectations this year. To be honest, it was a disappointment the last time and i choose not to expect anything this time round. Being through so many things in life, i do not understand how some people see things but maybe i should not think so highly about them at all. 2o14 is here but i seriously do not have any big plans in my life. The only thing i want to do is to getaway from this place, to somewhere where nobody knows me and probably i can start something there? Less than 2 weeks left, what should i do???Thursday, May 23, 2013
不知道從什麼時候開始, 我喜歡上你了.Thursday, January 3, 2013
Can't believe i am writing here when it's only the 3rd day of the year. Well, kind of made a friend upset today but i seriously didn't mean it. However, when i was comforting her, it made me realise how much i've changed in the way i think. Positive is the attitude! In life, there's never perfection and no individual can look the same in everyone's eyes. What's more important is to treasure what you have now and be grateful. Another lesson learnt is also to be able to accept criticism from others, or rather the next level which is to laugh off any negative energy directed towards you. In chinese, they call it 一笑置之. This can be one of the phrase used to describe my life as i think over the years, i really have mastered the art of this level, regardless of whether i'm being laughed at for being short or really criticised by others. Life is too short for us to ponder over too many things, especially the unhappiness. I do get unhappy at times too and often doubt myself whether i am a good friend to others. Maybe i do expect a little more from my friends but maybe it's normal for someone to look forward to such friendships?Sunday, December 23, 2012
It's been a long time since i wrote here. Well, first thing, congratulations that i'm still alive! Survived the 21st December 2012 rumour :) Everytime i decide to write here, it definitely isn't good news as i must have hit another bottom pit in my life. I think it may be regarding social life this time? I'm already stressed enough with all the work i have to face in my study life but my recent social life don't seem to be going smoothly too. Lost count of the friends i've lost contact with and the close ones doesn't seem to care much too. Is is really that difficult to maintain a friendship? Am i such a failure? Birthday's coming next month but i don't think i have very high hopes for it. Always wished that there would be a bunch of friends who would actually make an extra effort to plan everything and surprise me. Guess that's what i always do for other people? Maybe i am just not that type of person who will be invited to parties or any fun outings by people? Life has not been happy recently but no one bothers anyway. When is that person who will care for me and only worry about me appear? :/ Things don't seem to be going well either. Sometimes i wished for a reset button in life so that i can re-make all the things in my life, go through all the processes in a different and more meaningful way as well as filter my choice of friends. However, it occurred to me that no matter how many times we can reset life, there are still many different issues that we have to go through. Now, i just wish that i can go further my studies somewhere and stay away from "my world' for a period of time, but i know that's quite impossible due to my limited financial capabilities. Maybe another issue that has been bothering me is the achievements in life? I prefer to have a carefree life and not to be binded by that many responsibilities in this world. However, it seems that i am too good at choosing my friends and majority of them are achieving loads of awesome things in life and sometimes, i feel inferior, especially when other friends come to you and talk about these people. I just feel that whatever i do in life, i always do not get praised as much or get any recognition. It may be because i am really not that great but sometimes, encouragement is just so important. :( Sometimes, i hope to be an anti-social person so that i can totally not bother about the other things happening in life, but i know i am not :( Future seems so bleak to me now and i really don't know where am i heading towards. Somebody help me please! >.<Friday, July 20, 2012
I am really very tired our both mentally and physically. Already facing enough troubles, my body still doesn't want to let me off. Feeling so sick and restless everyday. I am in the bottom of my life again! Hope all these negative energy will go away soon! Positive thinking! I really hope that everything will go well soon. Don't want to face anymore unwanted troubles =(Tuesday, July 17, 2012
It hurts seeing you always feeling so sad but i can't do anything about it. There's nothing i can ask, know and do. You may not even know that i am there. It just hurts so much. Maybe it's time to move on, but it seems that everytime i try to, something will always pull me back.Thursday, July 12, 2012
There are times when you feel like shaking every single responsibility off youself. Things are getting harder and you just feel that it is difficult to find space to breathe. Whatever you do is never right and things are getting out of hand. All the fatigue and stress, they are dominating you...Thursday, June 14, 2012
Realise that i have the habit of reading my own blog at times so that i can actually remember what happened before. Have been in this recession state recently and just when i thought that things were going to get better, no, it seems to have gotten worse. Dealt with more blows which i really don't understand. Does that really mean so much to you? I can't talk much about it but it really affects me a little. Something that actually means nothing to me can mean so much to others, what can i do? Everything seems to be so screwed. Maybe it isn't worth thinking about it at all. For now, just before my precious holiday ends, i really hope to be able to enjoy more, meet up with more friends and have fun together. It's really one of the best ways to make one feel better, set aside my dramas and animes. I've been indulging in my recent favourite variery show(2NE1 TV!), all-time favourite anime(Shugo Chara!) and some other Hong Kong dramas as well. They just make me forget my worries for a moment =)Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Looking back in my life, i actually can't find a word to describe it! Many thoughts have been flowing through my mind recently and i have been feeling quite down. I can sense this change occuring in me and i know it's a bad one, but i just can't control. I feel that i am losing a lot of friends and this is quite discouraging. As much as i wish to meet up with them, it's just difficult to arrange that outing as some situations have already become so awkward. Should i say that i am such a failure? Have always been trying to be a good and special friend and hoping that someone will treat me as a very important friend and always think of me or give me small surprises. All this just seem so impossible right now... Been so stressed over the final year project and other human to human relationships. I think i am in the recession period in life again, when you just feel that nothing is going well and everything is in a mess. Hopefully this will end soon and i don't want my emotions to affect my lifestyle! :/ By the way, i think i have given up on someone who probably has never been possible in my life. Should start waiting for the next one to show up now~Saturday, May 19, 2012
The feeling when you think that no one cares, and you are left to fend for yourself...Friday, May 4, 2012
One word to learn - Forget.Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Just one night and the world seems different, wonder what will it be like the next morning...If possible, i wish this nightmare can end as soon as possible and i can return to my fantasy island...
Monday, March 12, 2012
I am going to bear with all these now and someday, i will take my everything and take off to this faraway place where i can lead my carefree life with my Mr Right~Sunday, February 26, 2012
Seems like you and i are leading separate lifestyles now.其實, 在我的生命裡, 你真的很重要~
Saturday, February 25, 2012
聽見 冬天 的離開 我在某年某月醒過來Life's been sad for this few recent weeks. Lazy to explain but it's really interrupting and ruining my lifestyle! I seem to be having mood swings more than ever =( Feeling so frustrated recently, i can't control myself :/
Monday, February 20, 2012
我一直都覺得自己的人生很不完美. 如果人生可以重來, 我一定會選擇重新來過.Monday, February 13, 2012
雖然今年還是單身一人, 但是不要灰心, 我相信那個他一定會出現~Monday, February 6, 2012
Sometimes i get jealous, but i know i shouldn't.Friday, January 13, 2012
今天, 感覺終於再靠近你一點點了...Saturday, January 7, 2012
Feeling lonely, lonely, lonely~Saturday, October 8, 2011
Somehow i still feel the pinch when i see the two of you happy together. Why am i the one suffering and you seem like you're getting the best of both worlds, maybe even three? I just wonder, if nothing had happened, what would my life be like now? Probably spending time happily with him? Although i can't be certain, i just wish to know.Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sometimes, i just wonder if anyone is reading my blog? It may be a good thing if nobody bothers about it anyway, then i can write things that is not supposed to be seen by others but just needs to be vented out by me :DThursday, September 22, 2011
Looking back at my facebook photo album, i really miss those days where the four of us will have fun, hang out together etc. Just wonder if there will be a chance for such precious memories to come by again... :(Friday, September 16, 2011
Every holiday is the same for me, excited and looking forward to complete my list of holiday activities but in the end, seems like nothing is really completed. I just stay at home everyday watching tv, completed loads of dramas though. Just hoping that some friends will ring me up and ask me out for some activities instead of me being the one who's doing all the planning and sometimes, it doesn't even work out in the end. Maybe humans, or me, just needs to be appreciated or even remembered by others at times? Kind of depressing to know that i am forgotten. Just wondering if some of my friends were as close as i thought? It just seems to me that i am forgotten? :( Should restructure my friends list someday, maybe things weren't according to what i thought afterall. We aren't as close as i thought?Friday, August 26, 2011
Well, exams are finally over~ And i should be happy about it?Sunday, August 14, 2011
Been so proud of myself, being a good girl. Study study study~ Project project project~Monday, July 11, 2011
I'll just post this here and hope that if anyone is reading my blog can help me like this page on facebook. www.facebook.com/rendezvouswhere
Monday, July 4, 2011
Enjoyed myself during the last few days of my holidays, though it's the start of the term again. Went out to play and even went malaysia for a final shopping spree before school starts! Got to watch my TV drama at a super fast speed and i managed to watch like 20 over episodes within 3 days. A little random though, instead of my usual hong kong drama, i actually watched this mainland production called 單身女王, and i was really addicted to it! I just didn't know why, probably it's because the female lead's thinking and perspective were similar to mine. When i was watching it i was like: Hey! This may be what i'll be probably 10 years later? Of course i hope i won't still be single by then, but i really feel that we're alike in terms of personality! And it potrays that type of 時尚職場生活as well, which is one of my dreams too! The clothes she wore is totally my style! I felt a little cheated though, as it was written that there was 38 episodes but 25 was actually the end. And after finishing the show, i just feel a little lost. It really impact me a little about the views i had about relationships and friendships. Just wanna shout it out: It's a nice show!!! Worth watching :)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Well, MST just ended. Hurray!!! And i hope i'll do well :)Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Sometimes, i just wonder did i choose the wrong course again? Everything seems so perfect for me but this module is really tiring me out. I just don't get it! x_xMonday, June 6, 2011
Looking back at my life, and i realised that i really need to know more people. Everyone else seems to be moving on in life in terms of anything and i feel that i am still standing at the same spot. I should expand my social circle =)Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Feel this sudden sense of tiredness. Have this random thought of not contacting anyone for the time being, but i guess that's quite impossible in this high-technology operated world unless i decided to cut myself away from all my forms of entertainment. Besides, i have this sad feeling: When you thought that things were always there waiting for you, you will realise that it's not there anymore when you decide to turn back. I am refering to some of my friends? Used to be very close with them but you suddenly realise that they are closer with each other than with you. A kind of disappointment? But i don't know how to get back in there anymore... The door is already closed and probably they are doing well or even much better without you? Need to start looking for new close friends? Somtimes, i really wish to tell them can we be close friends all over again? But you think that's possible?! We did not end our friendship, probably just drifted apart?
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Just read through my blog, realised almost every entry is about my friends? Well, only thing i can say now: Everything changed? But one thing i can confirm, i love Gena! haha :) Well, just ended my exams, experiencing the worried feelings now. I wouldn't say i have full confidence in my performance, but i think i wouldn't be that bad either? Feeling lost again, there's something i really wish to do now: 我一個人吃飯旅行, 到處走走停停, 也一個人看書寫信, 自己對話談心. However, i think that's quite impossible at the moment. Well, actually, hanging out with friends may do the job for now? Ask me out please! :)
Monday, November 22, 2010
Mentally exhausted. All i wanted was for everything to go well, have fun and enjoy together. Why did all this have to happen? I am speechless...Saturday, September 11, 2010
一心一意對待別人, 但到頭來卻發現原來自己什麼都沒有.It seems like my close friends and i are not contacting each other that often anymore. Somehow, i feel super sad, missed those great days and time spent together. My precious memories~
Monday, August 16, 2010
Went to see my love again, it's getting better each time!Monday, August 9, 2010
Well, the whole thing is just unexplainable and i can't help it. I TRIED TO!!! I don't think saying that i can't control myself or i don't even know why did i allow this to happen is a very good reason or explanation. The biggest problem may be that nobody even knows where the problem lies. However, i would say that i am not in the wrong as i wasn't the one who caused the whole problem, although i feel that the other party doesn't think so too. I would only say that the damage is already done and i think more heavily for me, and sincerity may work? But i don't feel it, and maybe she doesn't owe it to me too. It's just my character? I am someone who would to anything to amend for any mistakes if i feel that that person is really important to me and i wouldn't want to lose it, maybe i am not that important afterall? Well, as long as everyone feels happy, i don't care. i may feel hurt or sad, but i am sure it will end someday.Sunday, June 27, 2010
It's the start of another new term, and i have one lecturer changed. Feeling lost in the "new class" now. Well, the new lecturer is not as scary as i thought, but i somehow feel bored in the class. Hope everything goes well in the future~ Had a peaceful holiday, did not meet up with friends to have fun, except for that compulsory course chalet. How sad =(Friday, May 28, 2010
Realised i haven blogged for quite some time, just had this random thought to post something. Many things happened recently, there were happy and unhappy events. For instance, i went to vietnam for an OCIP and it was indeed a fruitful, unforgettable and memorable trip! i made many new friends there and i really love them :) However, life is never smooth-sailing and a "tragedy" happened to me after i came back to Singapore. Fortunately, i also got to make some new friends in my new course (Business IT) and they really make my days in school. Decided not to mention and think so much about the unhappy things, what i have to do now is to try to live life to the fullest and let nature take its course. Whatever will be, will be :)
Friday, February 26, 2010
I suddenly remembered the incident that occured on 31st dec 2009. I can't control my mind! Help!~ I have to put it behind me!!!Saturday, February 20, 2010
Happy Birthday Gena! (6th Feb 2010)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
I really feel that my life is so screwed up at this point of time. And I feel helpless as there’s nothing I can do about it due to the education system? I am really suffering in my course, but at the same time enjoying the company of my closer friends in the course as I know that it’ll be the last few months we can battle and have fun together if I really manage to get into another course in April. Am I contradicting myself? I really wish to transfer to another course but am afraid as I might not do well in the other course as well. And as time goes by, I am really reluctant to leave this course as I am getting used to the lifestyle as well as my clique:) The problem is that I just can’t cope in design, if not I’ll stay. Guess what I really need now is the encouragement of my friends? I am someone who really needs encouragement and praises! Haha! When I want to feel that my route in life is not reaching the end yet, I just tend to think that other people thinks that my life is gone. Maybe I think too much? Just need this change in my life, find something that suits me and I’ll get on track! Probably a change in friends? I mean I will still contact with the friends I have now, but just want to make some new friends and experience a change in my lifestyle. Maybe a special type of friend that is closer than the usual girlfriends I have? [*giggles*] There’s just something that’s going the wrong way in my friendships now, need some time to sit back and think over it thoroughly. Life’s going to be busy for me this few weeks, hope that I’ll pull through. Too many things are just happening at the same time! Friendship, work, family and more. I feel so frustrated!!! And nobody seems to be able to understand, as I am not sure about it myself anyway.Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thank you very much!~Sunday, October 4, 2009
Well, had the intention to celebrate mid-autumn festival with the girls on friday (2nd oct), but min wasn't available on that day and we changed it to thursday (1st oct). Didn't realise that it was childrens' day at first, until i was reminded. I brought some board games over and all we did were just eat, talk & play. I just love the days~ Min contacted Gena but she had was having exams and said she couldn't come over. But when we were eating halfway, the doorbell rang and to our surprise, it was Gena! Thanks laopo! I just love surprises, and the moment when the 4 of us can spend time together, it is really difficult to meet up due to our busy schedules. Then, we tricked Gena into coming into the house for awhile, managed to take some snapshots at least =] Realised that we really had a lot to talk about, from the past to the future, maybe that's GIRLS nature. Looking forward to another gathering hopefully, school's starting soon and i will surely miss all this precious moments.
Monday, September 28, 2009
I should seriously reconsider what i am doing now. Those sleepless nights, for something i am not even sure of. Help! I need some advice. Should i change my direction, steer in time or crash straight into the wall in the future? Pursue something i am strong in or struggling to hold on to something that used to be my biggest weakness? Tell me. What should i do?Sunday, September 27, 2009
Yeah! Finally went to the ktv with amanda and shimin on Friday. It's been a long time since i went to the ktv. Then, went to school for the mid-autumn festival celebration after that. It's been a longer time since i went back to school. Went to escape theme park with shimin yesterday, it's been even longer [at least 3 years] since i have been to escape. Don't feel like describing too much on my outings, just realised that i finally found some life and done a bit of "it's been a long time' stuffs this few days. By the way, chatted a lot with amanda and shimin this 2 days and found out many funny things we had done in our secondary school days. There's even jokes that might make us laugh for 20 years and guess i know about more secrets by now. Looking forward to the next gathering, hopefully with Gena [All the best for her exams=]
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Went to downtown east with Shimin [min] yesterday, supposedly for escape theme park but realised that it was closed on weekdays when we reached. Well, our friend offered us free tickets and we decided to have some fun but it was not opened! Sad sad. Then, we roamed around downtown east looking for some activities but there was somehow nothing! In the end, we walked to the beach for awhile as i haven't been to the beach for a long time. Sort of missing it. The sun was too hot and we decided to leave after awhile, not a good weather if you're not there to sun tan. Haha =D Then, we walked to Pasir Ris interchange as she needed to top up her Ez-link card. On the way, we stopped by at the park and went on the swings. I miss childhood fun! As there was really nothing to do, we went back to my house for some dramas. That was how we spent time, but i enjoyed it though. Haven't really met her for quite some time, i mean for outings. [Someone just can't leave her boyfriend. Opps* Just kidding. Haha] We were out together today as well. Went to dhoby ghaut as she had a job interview somewhere around there. [But she didn't want the job in the end, don't be sad. Cheer up =] After that, went to far east for some shopping and got a pair of flats each! 總算有收穫! 呵呵. By the way, my results really suck, in my opinion. Wondering whether should i reconsider my course? Sob.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Well, did nothing much but eat and sleep this two weeks. Only glad that i went out 2 times, to meet friends for dinner. First, it was Kuan Jie and Edmond, and they specially requested that i blog about this to show that they shared a plate of carrot cake. But i am going to hide some of the details. Haha =p And notice, that's what i realised, Edmond drops food on the table like a child while eating! Opps* Don't kill me =] Then shimin asked me out on for dinner another day, but i was not free. Sad sad. After that, it was Gena. We went to compass point last friday for dinner. Seems like my life's so boring that i only have this dinners to blog about. Life may sound sad for me, but at least it let me replenish all the sleep i lost as well as clear all my hongkong dramas at a bullet speed. But i need outings soon~ Help!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Holidays have started, but i am actually shutting myself indoors everyday, probably because my friends aren't free anyway. Due to this fact, i am indulging myself into my newly bought Hong Kong dramas and anime, shugo chara everyday! Seriously, i wonder what's happening to me. I am probably anime overdosed and can't stop myself from thinking about a virtual character everyday. Fujisaki Nadeshiko/Nagihiko is taking over my life for this few days! Help! The story goes like this, amanda introduced me to an anime called shugo chara last year and i really love it! In the story, there's a girl by the name of Nadeshiko and she became my favourite character of the whole show. In episode 26, she left and actually revealed the fact that she is a guy, and then returned to the show as a guy named Nagihiko in episode 56. From then on, i fell in love with this anime character even more! Recently, a character song album was made for all the main characters in the anime and i just can't stop listening to Nagi's song! I must balance myself! Can't help falling in love with a virtual character that doesn't exist? Help! By the way, friends, if you see this, ask me for an outing! I am like stuck to the television everyday!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Feeling quite happy right now. Just done with my last project and what's left is to enjoy! I seriously need to do some shopping now for the so called graduation party on thursday. Smart casual hip? With a mask. Oh my god! This is testing my fashion sense! School's ending on friday, really want to invite my friends to school for the exhibition on friday, but i wonder if they are free. Meanwhile, let me just enjoy myself with some Hongkong dramas~Monday, August 24, 2009
Made it for submission today! Left with 1 last project to clear. =D Going to relax and chill out a little with lala now, before we start on the HTI idea dossier. By the way, we did a real stupid thing just now. Took the train all the way from outram and wanted to alight at Sengkang. In the end, we fell asleep at Hougang station and found ourselves at Punggol station when we woke up. Were we so tired that it took us only less than 2 stations to fall asleep? But forget it, let's whip up a great meal and enjoy! Really need a good meal after all the sufferings caused by all the projects. And in a few days time, i am going to graduate and say bye to common foundation, forever. Can't wait for holidays~Sunday, August 23, 2009
Finally, just this 1 last project left. Cleared my portfolio! Yeah! Hope i will not be late for submission tomorrow. Wake up! Wake up! Went out with amanda in the morning yesterday, to collect our clothes, or maybe her clothes. Haha =D Went to pet safari at East point mall. Sad sad, it has become so small. Used to be super big last time but it's like reduced by at least 2 times the size. amanda was mesmerized by the dogs? and her black winter hamster. =] Train back to Pasir Ris and got bullied by a vending machine there. i wanted coke, and it didn't want to dispense. So we took out the coins and tried again.. Pressed the code for F&N orange, but out came green tea! Oh my god! Worst of all, we couldn't take out the bottle of green tea, heard from amanda it was due to some inconsiderate people who used it as a rubbish bin. Reached home, relaxed for awhile and headed out again. This time to meet shimin at Sim Lim Square to settle some issues of our salary. Reached home, called lala as usual, took pictures for my portfolio and watched shugo chara after that. My happiest moment! Shugo Shugo! Temari's coming back next week! So, finally completed my portfolio today and still on the phone with lala now. Hoping to be able to watch some shugo chara later. Got it? Lala cheng. Haha =D Had the japanese food i had been craving for the past 2 months today! Corn butter salmon rice! By the way, good luck to all my friends for their exams. Especially amanda as tomorrow is her last paper and she can come for my exhibition, and shopping as well. Shall end here, back to my phone call and maybe shugo chara!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Regarding the August 9 post, i think i sort of found it.
Finally, submitted my VAS silkscreen printing at 4.45pm today. Actually, it's a bit late as submission ends at 5pm. But whatever, i submitted! So far, this should be one of the first project that can make me so frustrated as i really spammed many "f" words when i was printing during the past few days. Well, it's not because of the project itself. Printing can be fun, but it gets frustrating when you see people being irresponsible and not clearing up the mess that they created. There were some storage boxes for us to fill up water to wash our silkscreen and squeegees. So, we [Lala, Gillian and me] have been filling up the water and it's so heavy that my back actually feels sore now. But there are some irresponsible people who kept on using the water that other people filled without even doing it once for themselves, irresponsible? There are also people who actually blame the good people who actually took the trouble to fill up the water from the far toilet when they only spilled a bit of water on the floor, irritating? Those people also used our squeegee without permission and didn't even bother to wash it clean, irresponsible again? They also leave the classroom immediately after they have finished their stuffs as though it's other people's responsibility to clean up the mess for them? By the way, there were really fun events, especially with Lala and Gillian around. And i begin to realise that the chicken rice at food court 2 is really nice, and it comes with free flow of soup! Why didn't i realise it earlier? Super tired out after school today, but didn't go home immediately today. Went to Hougang mall with Lala after school today and ended up "teaching" her phonics in popular. Haha =D Oh, Lala told me to mention that she actually wore T-shirt to school yesterday. Rare! Well, should end here now, going to catch my drama on TV. By the way, love my HTI journal cover page! =]
